Code of Conduct for a Family
Avoid potential conflicts:
Don’t make food a battleground
Let children eat with adults as soon as possible
Don’t cook separate meals – modify adult meals to suit children
Organize the family room so that you rarely have to say ‘No’ to the child
Keep dangerous/fragile items in a separate room
Avoid putting the child in a position where it is tempted to tell a lie
Respect the child’s routine – taking them to too many adult events (especially at night) can cause spoilt behaviour. If you do this rarely, they may behave well (mine certainly did).
Be consistent on big issues, but flexible on small ones:
Safety
Kindness towards others
Responsibility for actions
Always be honest with children, and impress upon them that if they never lie to you, it is easier for you to back them up
If you have been unfair or ungenerous, it is better to change your mind than stick to your guns.
Allow more freedom and responsibility as the child matures
George Bernard Shaw said, ‘Never strike a child except in anger’.Don’t say ‘Wait until your father gets home,’ punishing the child in cold blood. Despite current theory, the occasional and merited quick smack is more effective than nagging a young child: dogs and horses nip their young to train them.
If either parent is unreasonable, discuss it privately, insisting on fairness to the children but avoiding disharmony in front of them.
Above all: Each person should spend time alone with each other member of the family.
Avoid potential conflicts:
Don’t make food a battleground
Let children eat with adults as soon as possible
Don’t cook separate meals – modify adult meals to suit children
Organize the family room so that you rarely have to say ‘No’ to the child
Keep dangerous/fragile items in a separate room
Avoid putting the child in a position where it is tempted to tell a lie
Respect the child’s routine – taking them to too many adult events (especially at night) can cause spoilt behaviour. If you do this rarely, they may behave well (mine certainly did).
Be consistent on big issues, but flexible on small ones:
Safety
Kindness towards others
Responsibility for actions
Always be honest with children, and impress upon them that if they never lie to you, it is easier for you to back them up
If you have been unfair or ungenerous, it is better to change your mind than stick to your guns.
Allow more freedom and responsibility as the child matures
George Bernard Shaw said, ‘Never strike a child except in anger’.Don’t say ‘Wait until your father gets home,’ punishing the child in cold blood. Despite current theory, the occasional and merited quick smack is more effective than nagging a young child: dogs and horses nip their young to train them.
If either parent is unreasonable, discuss it privately, insisting on fairness to the children but avoiding disharmony in front of them.
Above all: Each person should spend time alone with each other member of the family.
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